From my e mail:

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners. None of them get through spell check.

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off these bad
vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in
the fruit you're eating.


And the pick of the literature:

18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

I think this is what inspired me to create my original Firefox Tips Blog. I may yet re-do it....

I had a terrible case of acid reflux as I began eating dinner. I had to leave the table for a bit. I'll spare you the details. Later, I went to bed, and was nearly asleep, when I started feeling chills. I was under blankets, and the room was not cold, but I felt as though I was cold from the inside out. Like my bones were cold. I did not have fever. I began to shiver, and my teeth chattered. My husband put extra blankets (every one we have) on the bed. Still I shivered. Then, just as I thought it was beggining to ease...CRAMPS in my thigh muscles, almost at my hips. I was rolling all over the bed, trying to get them to stop, and it hurt so bad, I put my face in the pillows and yelled. The cats both freaked. Immediately, they jumped on the bed, and Darla was walking back and forth on my back. Duchess was trying to paw through my hair to see my face. Neither of them would budge from the bed. My husband turned the heat up to maximum, then came and laid down beside me and held me. I eventually did stop shaking, and went to sleep. My husband, bless him, was sleeping beside me when I got up this morning, and he told me when he woke that he had stayed up until 5:30 AM, to watch over me in case I had another attack like that.

I got up during the night for the bathroom, and I was very weak. I was also covered in sweat. My husband helped me get up and back to bed safely.

I finally received my last birthday gift from my in-laws. It was mailed well before my birthday but didn't arrive until yesterday. It contained some things for me, some things for Jay, and some to share.

Jay's dad is in the Reserves, and was in Hawaii in January for some training. He got the items there. The package contained (per an enclosed note from my mother-in-law):

a Kukui nut lei (small white shells and black lacquered Kukui nuts); a cowrie shell lei (small white shells of various shapes) for me; pineapple-orange hard candies and some preserved plums (with pits inside) to share; a small shell lei and a T shirt for Jay; a military patch and guidebook for the military in the islands for him as well; a DVD of photos; and a newspaper from Honolulu.

I've wanted to go to Hawaii since I saw "Pearl Harbor." Now, I want to go more than ever. I've never owned a lei before, and these shell leis are gorgeous, plus they will not wilt or die. Jay says his family never used to do things like this for his ex on her birthday, and they've always done thoughtful things for me that they never did for the ex. My mother- and sister-in-law even called long distance on my birthday to sing Happy Birthday. It's a wonderful family to be part of.

She's one step closer... I got a call yesterday from my daughter Lauren. She arrived at the halfway house safely on Tuesday afternoon, and she says she will likely have to be there three months. She's fine, if a little frustrated with the pay phone (she has a prepaid phone card, and is alllowed 10 minutes on the phone.)

It is so good to be able to hear her voice. She was happy when I told her we are going to delay having Dylan's birthday party until she can attend. I will see her on Saturday, and we will be able to spend two hours visiting.

I'm going to encourage her to take full advantage of all the assistance the staff there can offer her.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
The difficult I do immediately. The impossible takes until after lunch...

I have to say, I never knew a birthday could be so much fun. My husband knows how to make a birthday special. When I got up yesterday morning, he greeted me with some wrapped presents and two birthday cards. One of each was from him; the others were from my grandson, Dylan.

He had picked Dylan up last week (without my knowing) and took him shopping at the mall. They went to a Hallmark store, and Jay put Dylan on the floor next to a display of Teddy Bears. Then, he put three teddy bears on the floor a short distance from Dylan...who then crawled over to the bear he liked most, four times! That's how he chose my Valentine's present! The clerks in the store were tickled at the "decision maker." They chuckled at the whole thing. Jay gave Dylan a pen, and he "signed" both my birthday and Valentine cards. Needless to say, both of those cards will be kept forever. It was so touching, it made me cry...but the tears were not sad. The only sad part was missing my grandmother, whose 91st birthday would have been on the 11th of February. I got my Valentine's presents on Sunday, while Dylan was here to help Jay give them to me; normally, I get my Valentine's presents in the morning, and birthday presents in the evening. Never do I get them "combined". Jay says they should always be separate.

Jay also showed Dylan a samll silver treasure chest on a stand. Dylan's comment: "Ahhdah". Approval to purchase. This treasure chest is engraved with the words, "the love between a grandmother and grandchild is a priceless treasure." Inside, there is a small frame. Jay took Dylan's very first baby picture, and had it reduced in size to fit into the frame. He took another photo from our album of Dylan's photos and reduced it to fit into the bottom of the chest. On the underside of the chest is a chain to hold charms; the charm is a baby's footprint in silver.

From Jay, I got a silver and gold heart pendant on a delicate gold link chain from the same jeweler we bought our wedding rings from. Every good piece of jewelry I own comes from that store.

From both Dylan and Jay, I got a collection of Red Skelton DVDs, "Titanic" on DVD, and "The Notebook", also on DVD. "The Notebook" is a gem of a film. Jay sent me an e card while he was out during the morning, and I have it for my wallpaper.

So, I'm thinking: "not bad for a birthday." Jay: "But the day's not over yet." Midafternoon: "I have to go run an errand. I'll be back." Meanwhile, I'm working. Jay is gone....and gone....and gone. Finally, he is home again. He's making noise in the kitchen, but since he usually cooks dinner when I'm working, I thought nothing of it.

Just as I got off work, my dad called to say "happy birthday." It's interesting. My mother (the one person in the entire world who should, logically, remember) rarely remembers my birthday; my father has never forgotten. It's kind of a tradition for him to call on my birthday now. I don't know if he calls my brothers or not, but it makes me feel like "daddy's little girl", which is kinda neat. After we chatted for a while, I checked my email, to find several greetings from friends. Then dinner. Jay made "real" mashed potatoes (not instant), and he used a hand masher, not the mixer...because he didn't want to make any noise that would give anything away. He added corn and barbecued boneless beef ribs tender enough to cut with a fork. Dessert made me LAUGH. He had bought an individual size white birthday cake, (the reason he was gone so long in the afternoon was that he had to wait for the cake to be baked and decorated) with white icing and a small pink rose on it. He put five candles (all that would safely fit) on the cake, and lit them. When he brought the cake to the table, he sang "happy birthday", and took a picture as I blew out the candles. I was pleased that I blew them all out with one breath, and I got ready to cut the cake....and the candles re-lit!! Again, I blew them out....and they re-lit. By this time, I'm laughing so hard, I can't blow them out if I had to, plus I'm about to hyperventilate. Jay finally had to put them into a glass of water to extinguish them. Jay says he still owes me a dinner "out", but I don't really mind if we don't go out to eat. Jay says his family is sending "a package" of some sort; it may be here today or tomorrow.

We watched "The Notebook" together. It was a grand day! It is so wonderful to be so loved. My ex NEVER put that kind of thought into my birthday.

I don't care much for the commercialism of the day, which seems to have grown geometrically since I was a child. But I do like the day. Why? Simple: it's my birthday. It's always been kind of special to be a Valentine myself. My husband always separates my birthday presents from my Valentine's presents, which is neat. And the gifts are always well thought out and carefully chosen.

This year, for Valentine's, I got two white stuffed bears. One of them holds a box of chocolates, and is from my little grandson, who picked it out himself, with a little help from "grampy." The other holds a red heart reading, "Bear Hugs" from my husband, whose nickname is "Bear." I also got some dvd's. Red Skelton, and Titanic for Valentine's day. I got two cards, one of which is "signed" by Dylan. It made me cry, of course. That one, needless to say, will be kept forever. I'm sentimental that way.

For my Birthday: I got two cards, one of which was again signed by Dylan. I got a heart pendant, and a treasure box engraved with "The love between a grandmother and grandchild is a priceless treasure." with two pictures of my Dylan inside. More tears. Another set of dvd's. Red Skelton and "The Notebook." It's been a wonderful day.

OK. some of this is repeating the above, but here goes:

I have to say, I never knew a birthday could be so much fun. My husband knows how to make a birthday special. When I got up yesterday morning, he greeted me with some wrapped presents and two birthday cards. One of each was from him; the others were from my grandson, Dylan.

He had picked Dylan up last week (without my knowing) and took him shopping at the mall. They went to a Hallmark store, and Jay put Dylan on the floor next to a display of Teddy Bears. Then, he put three teddy bears on the floor a short distance from Dylan...who then crawled over to the bear he liked most, four times! That's how he chose my Valentine's present! The clerks in the store were tickled at the "decision maker." They chuckled at the whole thing. Jay gave Dylan a pen, and he "signed" both my birthday and Valentine cards. Needless to say, both of those cards will be kept forever. It was so touching, it made me cry...but the tears were not sad. The only sad part was missing my grandmother, whose 91st birthday would have been on the 11th of February. I got my Valentine's presents on Sunday, while Dylan was here to help Jay give them to me; normally, I get my Valentine's presents in the morning, and birthday presents in the evening. Never do I get them "combined". Jay says they should always be separate.

Jay also showed Dylan a samll silver treasure chest on a stand. Dylan's comment: "Ahhdah". Approval to purchase. This treasure chest is engraved with the words, "the love between a grandmother and grandchild is a priceless treasure." Inside, there is a small frame. Jay took Dylan's very first baby picture, and had it reduced in size to fit into the frame. He took another photo from our album of Dylan's photos and reduced it to fit into the bottom of the chest. On the underside of the chest is a chain to hold charms; the charm is a baby's footprint in silver.

From Jay, I got a silver and gold heart pendant on a delicate gold link chain from the same jeweler we bought our wedding rings from. Every good piece of jewelry I own comes from that store.

From both Dylan and Jay, I got a collection of Red Skelton DVDs, "Titanic" on DVD, and "The Notebook", also on DVD. "The Notebook" is a gem of a film. Jay sent me an e card while he was out during the morning, and I have it for my wallpaper.

So, I'm thinking: "not bad for a birthday." Jay: "But the day's not over yet." Midafternoon: "I have to go run an errand. I'll be back." Meanwhile, I'm working. Jay is gone....and gone....and gone. Finally, he is home again. He's making noise in the kitchen, but since he usually cooks dinner when I'm working, I thought nothing of it.

Just as I got off work, my dad called to say "happy birthday." It's interesting. My mother (the one person in the entire world who should, logically, remember) rarely remembers my birthday; my father has never forgotten. It's kind of a tradition for him to call on my birthday now. I don't know if he calls my brothers or not, but it makes me feel like "daddy's little girl", which is kinda neat. After we chatted for a while, I checked my email, to find several greetings from friends. Then dinner. Jay made "real" mashed potatoes (not instant), and he used a hand masher, not the mixer...because he didn't want to make any noise that would give anything away. He added corn and barbecued boneless beef ribs tender enough to cut with a fork. Dessert made me LAUGH. He had bought an individual size white birthday cake, (the reason he was gone so long in the afternoon was that he had to wait for the cake to be baked and decorated) with white icing and a small pink rose on it. He put five candles (all that would safely fit) on the cake, and lit them. When he brought the cake to the table, he sang "happy birthday", and took a picture as I blew out the candles. I was pleased that I blew them all out with one breath, and I got ready to cut the cake....and the candles re-lit!! Again, I blew them out....and they re-lit. By this time, I'm laughing so hard, I can't blow them out if I had to, plus I'm about to hyperventilate. Jay finally had to put them into a glass of water to extinguish them. Jay says he still owes me a dinner "out", but I don't really mind if we don't go out to eat. Jay says his family is sending "a package" of some sort; it may be here today or tomorrow.

We watched "The Notebook" together. It was a grand day! It is so wonderful to be so loved. My ex NEVER put that kind of thought into my birthday. I used to dread my birthday. Now, I look forward to it; I think Jay has as much fun planning as I do esperiencing the surprises. He says he usually starts thinking about my birthday in mid-December, which is a good trick, given that some of our Christmas preparations are happening at about that time.

I work from home four days per week, and I am in the office on Wednesdays. Two weeks ago, I was on the phone with a caller or processing a report, and the power hiccupped. For a minute or so, the power was off completely, then the backup generator came on. I then rebooted my computer per supervisor instructions, and tried to continue working. Nope. Again, the power was interrupted. This time, when I tried rebooting....I got the BSOD. My hard drive had been fried, and now the PC needs to be re-imaged. I had in the interim taken a call using pen and paper to note information, so I moved to a different workstation to complete my original report and to enter the data from the interim call. My supervisor then came by (this was about 2:30 PM, when I had just relocated) to ask if I wanted to stay in the office or go home and enter e reports for the remainder of my shift. I elected to just stay since I was already there, and she said it was fine with her.

I was out last Wednesday, and when I went back into the office the day before yesterday....you guessed it. The computer at my workstation still had the BSOD. A ticket had been called in on it, for a technician to come re-image it, but no one came to do the work. I was informed by Automation staff that most likely no one had come out to work on it "because no one sits there when you are working from home." Bah. Garbage. (Automation called about the ticket still being open, but I'm not holding my breath; the last time this happened, I moved from workstation to workstation for four to six weeks before my PC was finally working again.) So I had to go find another supervisor and ask where I should sit for work. I also had to get access to my e mail and information about how to log in to our intra-office instant messenger program. since my log in had been wiped out and I couldn't recall how to do it. I had to complete some training that required e mail access. I was running back and forth all day (because I was sitting in the back of the office instead of in my usual place in the front). Even going to the bathroom took twice as long as usual.

Just to add to the fun, the workstation I ended up at would nearly have been condemned by the board of health. There were papersand looseleaf binders stacked in a leaning tower to my right on the desk (I didn't dare touch anything, or the whole mess would have cascaded onto the floor in a heap), and there were more papers, newspapers and magazines with torn out pages on the floor under my feet. The shelf above the desk and to my left could have easily held some of the clutter -- but it was mostly empty. There was a large cardboard carton to my right on the floor; I don't know what was in it because I didn't care to look. I kept having to dodge it with my wheelchair every time I had to leave the desk. My own workspace is not entirely clutter free, I admit...but at least the floor under the desk is clear, and there is not a threat of an avalanche of papers. By comparison, my workstation is absolutely pristine.

It is amazing how accustomed one can get to one's own workspace. I had trouble concentrating all day because I felt uprooted. I keep certain information pinned to the walls of my workstation, so that I can simply look up and immediately see the information while I am working, without having to disrupt a phone call or data entry process. Needless to say, that information was not at the borrowed workstation either, and I did not have time to move everything from my desk to the borrowed space. I took my headset, a pen, and a pad of post-it notes, since I do direct entry of information while I'm on the phone. Instead of work related documents on the walls of the new space, I was treated to pictures of Vivien Leigh as Miss Scarlett O'Hara...

I went to bed at 8 PM Wednesday night, and was asleep before 8:30 PM. It was even more of a relief than usual to work from home yesterday.

It's two weeks and counting until Dylan's first Christmas. We've decorated the entire apartment, inside and out, and his face just glowed when he saw everything. We will be having ham instead of turkey for Christmas Dinner, because we cooked a huge turkey with all the trimmings for Thanksgiving. Dylan even had his first Thanksgiving meal...he ate my grandmother's dresisng, yams, some turkey, and some fruit salad. He liked all of it. Sent Lauren some new photos...they are wonderful. Today, Dylan scared me about to death. Jay had put him in his high chair for lunch, and buckled him in with the seat belt. He wiggled around until he was able to stand up, seat belt still locked in place but no longer securing him. He then proceeded to climb up on the table. Of course grampy had to run for the camera to get his picture. We have some great shots of him laughing his head off in the high chair, that we took about a month ago. He's grown so fast, and he's beginning to cruise now. He hasn't been sick at all, except for mild sniffles, and that is a major blessing. We got a watch for Courtney, a Christmas ornament and $5 for KK, and a radio with batteries for Michelle. I also wrote her a note in a Thanksgiving card last month. I want her to know she is appreciated. Think maybe I'll send a copy of the note to Lauren. I need to talk to her about a few things having to do with Dylan and visiting Michelle and the rest of us when she comes home anyway. Got a letter from her that I need to answer this week.

I've been working from home since the end of September...much less stress. Finally back to getting a full paycheck, so we can catch up on some of the bills.

I've upgraded FireFox to the full release, version 1, and I have stored several hundred or so extensions on the hard drive.

I got a cd burner, but I haven't had a lot of time to play with it...eventually, I'll get it figured out. Now I want to get some software for making an image of my disks. Upgraded Langa List to the Plus edition, and joined Live365 again, too.

...Most people will complete the title sentence with "...make lemonade." I, however, am not most people...and what I choose to do with my lemons isn ot such a huge deal, but a lot of fun: I am learning through trial and error to make lemon meringue pie.

Attempt 1: Went into the trash. Filling was good, crust was prefab, meringue flopped. Yuck. it was horrid.

Attempt 2: Crust was homemade; filling was so so, meringue was wonderful.

Attempt 3: crust prefab; meringue terrific. Jury is still out on the filling which may be a little bit runny...will have to wait until tomorrow to find out, as it's in the refrigerator now. The recipe only makes 8 servings, which is not a long term commitment...

I have a recipe for banana cheesecake I want to try as well. I love cooking! I've given up making carrot cake for a while...the last one got put into the freezer, so we're tired of it.

These recipes and more can be found at Kitchen Classics.

Two years ago tonight, my father's mother died. She had been in poor health, and was in a nursing home to recover from having a pacemaker implanted. She had eaten her dinner, and was in her room, in her wheelchair when the nurse or attendant went in to help her prepare for bed. She passed peacefully, for that I am thankful. I called her "Nanny," because she told me that, when she tried to get me to call her "granny," I either couldn't or wouldn't. As I was her first grandchild, "Nanny" she was, ever after.

I miss her so very, very much. She was always "there" for me, whenever I needed anything. She gave me the gift of childhood when things in my parents' house were crazy. She let me play in the mud, and never minded the mess. She helped me sew doll clothes, she let me pet kittens after the supper dishes were washed, and when she baked a cake, she always left enough batter in the bowl for me and my brothers to share. She taught me. So many, many things.

She went to the drugstore one night for medicine when I needed it and couldn't get out, and my own mother wouldn't go pick it up. I never in my life said the words, "I need..." followed by anything she could supply, that she did not try to do. She took me to parties, and to church. She visited me in the hospital, when my mother found it "too painful" to be there. She taught me my first prayer, and hers was the first phone number I memorized.

Once, my first husband was unemployed, and money was tight. My daughter was a toddler, and one day I called to see, if she was going to the store, if she could bring me a loaf of bread or something small like that. For the next six months, without being asked, every time she shopped, she bought "just a little more than she needed" and brought us a bag of groceries. At Christmas, she wrapped presents with one item in each box, so there were lots of presents under the Christmas tree. She told me later, she did it so she could watch our faces light up. She taught me to cook, and she let me help. She let me watch, so I could learn. I still use her holiday recipes. I can still hear her voice, and her laugh...She never went to high school, but she wanted to be a teacher...and she taught me well. She told me, "you were my 40th birthday present, three days late. Her birthday was February 11, 1914; mine is February 14, 1954. We always celebrated together...

At her funeral, in addition to many, many other flowers and tributes, there was a heart-shaped vase with five salmon colored roses in it, one from each of her grandchildren, including my brother who passed on as an infant. My mother told me, "Karen, you are the only one of us who would have thought to do that." That little vase was the only one left on her grave the day of her funeral, which took place on my fourth wedding anniversary (I'm remarried). She kept the history of our family, in photos, and in a scrapbook; she had the only pictures of my deceased brother, and she gave one of them to me to keep. She lit one of the candles at my wedding to my current husband, and the wedding video is priceless to me. How I wish she could have seen MY grandson, Dylan!! I'm never going to forget her, and I will always love her.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
The difficult I do immediately. The impossible takes until after lunch...